The truth will be out sonner or later...
Just tgt of blogging this..wanna say i am getting more clear-headed abt the stuff that is happening in my life...i m getting closer and closer to the answer...but what i have to say is that if the answer is really what i have thought, i would be so disappointed in you...
|9:02 AM|
It is officially over...i m single
Was blogging this during office hour..hope wont get caught thou…but I guess I am accountable to people out there who cares a lot for me and wondering what is going on with my life with Alvin…
Well…it is over…we have both make things clear to each other…he told me to take lotsa care n vice versa…I told him to go find a good job and carve out a career for himself…initially, he was telling me that he wanna live his own life..most prob evolving around his nasty past..something which I don’t hope to see…he has come such a long way…even zhiwei says that he had seen a drastic change in him..a positive change..i feel that he had turn from a ‘black’ to a ‘white’…I guess only fang would understand what I am tokin abt..well..he doesn’t wanna lose me…but then again, you cannot force love right? I don’t deny that I have totally no feelings for him, it is just that our feelings are not mutual..i cannot give him the amount of love he needs. We remain as friends..something which I found that is very amazing as he seldom or rather, never remain in contact with his ex-gfs……he added that if I were to get bullied by an guy or need some help, I can approach him….he sounded very reluctant to let me go and he said: “sigh, I can’t be so selfish to hold back your happiness.” I was actually getting softhearted upon hearing this...however, being very stubbon, i didn’t change my mind…I told him simply: “I just can’t commit at the moment.”
Anyway..gotten a surprise sms from him this morn…he was telling me that he wanted to start his life all over whereby he will start to look for a good job and carve out his career and guess what? He is going to the gym!! I am shocked..very shocked…well..it is still early to tell though..He ask for 1 year to prove himself…but if I were to get attached again, he will wait for me till the day i get married...that was all what he said then…time will tell…in a meanwhile, I would just like to enjoy my singlehood after being in a relationship for 2years 8 months, it is time to take a break though…cIao for now!
Specially for fang, coreen, bingyu, marcus and to my dearest sis, thanks for listening and helping…love u all lots....as for wen, wx, huajun and alll...sorry if i didn;t confide in u...just that i didn;t wanna spread it ard tt i m single or what...i just wanna be alone now...so pardon me if i choose not to meet u all or dun really wanna talk to u on the phone...all i can say is that i m grateful to noe i still have great pals ard with me...
Well…it is over…we have both make things clear to each other…he told me to take lotsa care n vice versa…I told him to go find a good job and carve out a career for himself…initially, he was telling me that he wanna live his own life..most prob evolving around his nasty past..something which I don’t hope to see…he has come such a long way…even zhiwei says that he had seen a drastic change in him..a positive change..i feel that he had turn from a ‘black’ to a ‘white’…I guess only fang would understand what I am tokin abt..well..he doesn’t wanna lose me…but then again, you cannot force love right? I don’t deny that I have totally no feelings for him, it is just that our feelings are not mutual..i cannot give him the amount of love he needs. We remain as friends..something which I found that is very amazing as he seldom or rather, never remain in contact with his ex-gfs……he added that if I were to get bullied by an guy or need some help, I can approach him….he sounded very reluctant to let me go and he said: “sigh, I can’t be so selfish to hold back your happiness.” I was actually getting softhearted upon hearing this...however, being very stubbon, i didn’t change my mind…I told him simply: “I just can’t commit at the moment.”
Anyway..gotten a surprise sms from him this morn…he was telling me that he wanted to start his life all over whereby he will start to look for a good job and carve out his career and guess what? He is going to the gym!! I am shocked..very shocked…well..it is still early to tell though..He ask for 1 year to prove himself…but if I were to get attached again, he will wait for me till the day i get married...that was all what he said then…time will tell…in a meanwhile, I would just like to enjoy my singlehood after being in a relationship for 2years 8 months, it is time to take a break though…cIao for now!
Specially for fang, coreen, bingyu, marcus and to my dearest sis, thanks for listening and helping…love u all lots....as for wen, wx, huajun and alll...sorry if i didn;t confide in u...just that i didn;t wanna spread it ard tt i m single or what...i just wanna be alone now...so pardon me if i choose not to meet u all or dun really wanna talk to u on the phone...all i can say is that i m grateful to noe i still have great pals ard with me...
|2:00 PM|
FaVouRitE soNG nO.2
--Single by Natasha Bedingfield
All you singles out there. This is for ya.
YeahI'm not waitin' around for a man to save me
(Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole
Make your move if you want
Doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up
You either got it or you don't
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant
I'm single(Right now)
That's how I wanna beI'm single(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
Ah yeah Uh Huhthat's right
Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love
'cos I wouldI'm not gonna get hooked up
just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood
Everything in it's right time
everything in its right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way, it's my way
Eh I like it this way
Make your move if you want
doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up
you either got it or you don't'
Til then I'm single
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant
YeahI'm not waitin' around for a man to save me
(Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole
Make your move if you want
Doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up
You either got it or you don't
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant
I'm single(Right now)
That's how I wanna beI'm single(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
Ah yeah Uh Huhthat's right
Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love
'cos I wouldI'm not gonna get hooked up
just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood
Everything in it's right time
everything in its right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way, it's my way
Eh I like it this way
Make your move if you want
doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up
you either got it or you don't'
Til then I'm single
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant
|7:09 PM|
My Xmas Wish lIst....
not gonna create those small little list by the side thou...just gonna write it down here...ppl may think it is very weird of me to reject xmas gifts..actually i m not rejecting..i just feel that gifts are too practical...i wan a memorable xmas...the feelings of it...something that is priceless...feelings of happiness are priceless n extremely valuable..i wanna experience that..but who can give me tho? anyway..ppl out there who wanna give me gifts...i dun mind accepting it...haha...
|1:25 AM|
mY FaV sOnG
It FeEls sO gOOD by SoNiqUe
You always make me smile
When I'm feeling down
You give me such a vibe
It's totally bonafide
It's not the way you walk
And it ain't the way you talk
It ain't the job you got
That keeps me satisfied
Your love, it feels so good
And that's what takes me high
Higher than I've been before
Your love, it keeps me alive
Thought I should let you know
That your touch it means so much
When I'm alone at night
It's you I'm always thinking of
Oh, oh, baby
Oh, i want you to understand
How I feel, deep inside
Oh oh, you make me feel
All I need to feel
Yes, in my heart
Your love, it feels so good
And that's what takes me high
Higher than I've been before
Your love, it keeps me alive
Thought I should let you know
That your touch it means so much
When I'm alone at night
It's you I'm always thinking of
|2:07 PM|
jUsT a tHouGht.....
Ok...here it goes...a super corny and frequently ask question..
WhAt is loVe??
i seriously dunno....it's a very complicated question...initially..i tgt i could answer that..but now..it seems a little difficult...i dunno why...my mind is not confused...I AM MAKING IT CONFUSED...silly right? gosh...i dun even know what i am typing....ArGGGGGgggggg! forget it..!
ANyway...i wanted to watch the LINKin ParK CD tt i borrow from Wenjie...guess what..i cant watch it on my lappy....maybe becoz iz NOT a pirated version! haha...sigh...gotta watch on my TV instead....so sad...my linkin park...sob sob....
|11:27 PM|
BorIng SaTuRdAy + ScaRy SaTurDaY moRn..
noThing haPPeneD tOdAy....! just a super normal ordinary saturday...i wanna relax relax relax...and relax....wanna get my mind off work...kinda tired now too...definitely not in my best of mood...well....iz just gonna be one of those days...
slept at 4.30am this morning..this is crazy...! i m crazy to zzz so 'early'....but i vowed tt this is gonna b the last time i m doing so unless i go clubbin...smth happened this morn n it freaked me out...i was turning off the lights in the study room n heading to my bedroom to rest...guess what...strange noises came from the living room...i sweared i heard things...anyway...i dashed to my room as fast as i could n closed the room door tight...hopped on my bed...i was msging @tt moment btw...n den i tgt i saw 'smth' flew pass me....i was shock man! just stop my msging n duck into my blanket...i was so damm frightened tt i was under my covers till i fell asleep....maybe i was paranoid...i dunno...but den again...you nvr noe...
actually iz not the first time i felt uncomfortable @tt timing...when i was doing studying for exams...i had this really uncomfortable feeling...but the feeling wasn't so bad during fyp..maybe i was too engrossed in my coding till i dun feel anything...so well...there goes my late nites...dad had told me tt the 'qi' of our 'brothers' are the highest during the period from 1am-3am+...well..up to ya to believe or not...being a timid gal myself...i choose to believe...
slept at 4.30am this morning..this is crazy...! i m crazy to zzz so 'early'....but i vowed tt this is gonna b the last time i m doing so unless i go clubbin...smth happened this morn n it freaked me out...i was turning off the lights in the study room n heading to my bedroom to rest...guess what...strange noises came from the living room...i sweared i heard things...anyway...i dashed to my room as fast as i could n closed the room door tight...hopped on my bed...i was msging @tt moment btw...n den i tgt i saw 'smth' flew pass me....i was shock man! just stop my msging n duck into my blanket...i was so damm frightened tt i was under my covers till i fell asleep....maybe i was paranoid...i dunno...but den again...you nvr noe...
actually iz not the first time i felt uncomfortable @tt timing...when i was doing studying for exams...i had this really uncomfortable feeling...but the feeling wasn't so bad during fyp..maybe i was too engrossed in my coding till i dun feel anything...so well...there goes my late nites...dad had told me tt the 'qi' of our 'brothers' are the highest during the period from 1am-3am+...well..up to ya to believe or not...being a timid gal myself...i choose to believe...
|11:03 PM|
Results day!
pReety excited and anxious abt my results today..tgt i wont do well coz i had this feeling tt my clubbing might have destroy me and my results...fortunately...nope nope...my results turn out well..scored 2ADs....heard ernie scored 4ADs...smart fella!! He is my champion man! Thumbs Up!
Anyway..i lug my office IBM lappy home today...wonder why so damm many ppl look at me...come on lor...i m just a simple and ordinary office gal who just happened to carry a very heavy lappy..well...guess what..my sis and i gotta new desktop...a gift from my future-bro-in-law...he is one sweet bf...my sis is so fortunate...
well...just rcv msgs from peter kwee a few days ago..i cant believe tt he is still waiting for me..it has been 1 yr since tt incident happened...he wanted to meet me b4 he leaves for aussie permanently...i rejected him..and he started to type lotsa stuff which pissed me off so much tt i was even more determine NOT to meet him...i told him str8 tt we are NOT suitable for each other...n i;ii prefer to date guys of my age...not 13 years my senior!!! oh pls...i dun wanna age so fast man!
Anyway..i lug my office IBM lappy home today...wonder why so damm many ppl look at me...come on lor...i m just a simple and ordinary office gal who just happened to carry a very heavy lappy..well...guess what..my sis and i gotta new desktop...a gift from my future-bro-in-law...he is one sweet bf...my sis is so fortunate...
well...just rcv msgs from peter kwee a few days ago..i cant believe tt he is still waiting for me..it has been 1 yr since tt incident happened...he wanted to meet me b4 he leaves for aussie permanently...i rejected him..and he started to type lotsa stuff which pissed me off so much tt i was even more determine NOT to meet him...i told him str8 tt we are NOT suitable for each other...n i;ii prefer to date guys of my age...not 13 years my senior!!! oh pls...i dun wanna age so fast man!
|1:26 AM|
FiNally StEp IntO cHinAblAck afTer sO loNg....
Despite not feeling too gd yesterday nite...i went ahead with the chinablack trip...okay...i sounded horrible...but heck...! drank some new stuff yesterday...Marcus bought them...just rem tt one was called 'submarine' or smth like tt...i seriously cant wait 2 try flaming lambourghini...(think spelling oso weird)...heard tt it is super strong..anyway..i drank quite a moderate amt yest...4 the first time..my stomach was burning..halfway thru...marcus, peihui n i went 2 the 2nd level 2tk a breather...it was damm hot @the dancefloor...i jus slept on the table...until the bouncer woke me up...hah...
there were so many guys @black yest...there was one time where marcus n his 2 frens went off to get a drink, leaving the 5 of us there....hah...b4 u noe it...we were all being surrounded by 'wolves'....gosh..they are all so er xin leh...there was this beefcake behind me...he was dancing so close man...hate it!! oh come on...do i look like a gal who enjoys ONS and getting touch by strangers? Anyway..the gals gotten scare and kept asking for marcus...i msg him to come back...
the guys finally dispersed when the 3 of them came back..shalln;t go into too much details..dun wanna bored ppl out there...anyway..i met Brian and chee chong there..he was asking me why didn;t join zikai @zouk....come on..i m @black with my good frens..erm...zouk abit boring le...went too many times...haha..so well...the sad thing is tt wen didn;;t join me...she was sick...so disappointed...nvm...still have many chance to club together...
there were so many guys @black yest...there was one time where marcus n his 2 frens went off to get a drink, leaving the 5 of us there....hah...b4 u noe it...we were all being surrounded by 'wolves'....gosh..they are all so er xin leh...there was this beefcake behind me...he was dancing so close man...hate it!! oh come on...do i look like a gal who enjoys ONS and getting touch by strangers? Anyway..the gals gotten scare and kept asking for marcus...i msg him to come back...
the guys finally dispersed when the 3 of them came back..shalln;t go into too much details..dun wanna bored ppl out there...anyway..i met Brian and chee chong there..he was asking me why didn;t join zikai @zouk....come on..i m @black with my good frens..erm...zouk abit boring le...went too many times...haha..so well...the sad thing is tt wen didn;;t join me...she was sick...so disappointed...nvm...still have many chance to club together...
|5:27 PM|
2nd day at SAP....
finally got my laptop from SAP...tt gal from the IT Helpdesk is super rude..hwee eng, matthew, wanjun n i were there @ 9am..we waited for quite a while..den she snapped at us n told us 2come back 1hour later..damm it! think she got PMS man! anyway..hwee eng wanted 2wait till after lunch to collect..i couldn't or else i'ii b doing nothing again..1 hr later..i went back..didn;t bother 2give her a pleasant look..gave her attitude instead! haha..a german guy was @the helpdesk...she was so damm nice to him man..super SPG...
sigh...nvm...i m shivering quite a bit now...oh man...i hope dun fall sick leh...i better eat more fruits b4 i zzz....well...gonna meet mel n gang tmr...guess her exams finish...so damm fast..think u've only 2 papers rite..unlike me..got 4...n i'ii be receiving my results next fri the 12nov...very scare...
attachment is pretty tiring...but...i still can club though...cant lose my spirit man...!
sigh...nvm...i m shivering quite a bit now...oh man...i hope dun fall sick leh...i better eat more fruits b4 i zzz....well...gonna meet mel n gang tmr...guess her exams finish...so damm fast..think u've only 2 papers rite..unlike me..got 4...n i'ii be receiving my results next fri the 12nov...very scare...
attachment is pretty tiring...but...i still can club though...cant lose my spirit man...!
|9:23 PM|
1st day at work.......dreadful~~~
well...i know my blog abit pathetic la...i m simply too lazy to edit the layout...wenjie..i m even lazier than u man....but heck man!!!
anyway...1st day @SAP really sucks...hope everyday dun turn out like this,...i didn;t do anything today..i repeat...NOTHING...oh ya...guess i did some stuff...i read 3 SAP magazines....started reading from 9am... @5.30pm...i was still reading...! i can tell u...i read the 3 magazines twice...can practically memorise them...the reason: no laptop 2 start work today...gotta act bz coz too many german big bosses walking ard....hai...i m quite tired....
|10:49 PM|