I have found it.....
I have absolutely nothin' happy to blog about. Hence, the short entry. And i aint gonna write my unhappy stuff here. So well..
Just one thing. I have found my precious.
Nuff said.
You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved,
And you will never understand what pain really is Until you have lost it
And you will never understand what pain really is Until you have lost it
|4:40 PM|
=( I lost something that is very dearly to me. Search my room, drawers, cupboards, books, etc. Nope. I just can't find it. It has ruined my entire day. I feel like crying now. It's not as like i received this kinda gifts everyday. I am such a dope.
Y'know, i really miss you girls. My dearest sisters. 6 of you in total. I wanna give each and everyone of you a good hug. I need a listening ear. I need a shoulder. Hopefully Min can bring me some good news. Wanna meet her this sunday. =)
|11:56 AM|
Love. ><
Love. Told Wen before that i won't blog about it ever. But it seems so hard. =p
Sometimes, we just have to listen to our heart. True Love. I have always thought I knew what it is. But no, I am seriously clueless. I have seen and heard of countless 'true love' from my gfs but somehow, i am not convinced.
Visualize this. Boy A likes Girl B. Girl B likes Boy C.
After a long while, it changed. Boy C --> Girl B --> Boy A
It became a reverse cycle. The cycle of love. Seriously no one wants to be in this and i certainly wanna break out of it. It's torturing.
Two theories of mine about love.
1) The person that love ya the most AINT the person you love the most. The scale of love is never balanced between couples. Trust me. This is true.
2) The person that you married is someone who happens to come into your life at the right place and at the right time.
3) And lastly, the more emotional individual in the r'ship would be the one getting hurt. As for this theory, i copyrighted it from a friend.
Sad but true. Well, there are definitely exceptions of course. But am i fortunate enough to witness this? I thought i could but no. Sis and ZW broke up. 4 years of relationship and in a split second, it just ended. Sis and i spent years trying to pursue stable relationships with them but, the results were not what it should be. It was a mutural breakup between them but i know deep down, Sis is hurt. She haven't cried tho and it's freaking me out. I must have scared the hell outta' my mom when Alvin left. I was behaving as tho nothing is happening. Y'know, this character just runs in the family blood. Sis is like that and she is WORSE k? Wei wei, my dear sis, kindly burst out if there is a need to k? I'ii prepare the pail and tissue paper. And most importantly, i'ii hide all the knives. Haha. Just kidding la.
I remembered having a conversation bout' relationships with Kevin. We were touching on the topic of 'breaking up'.
Kevin : Your wrists??
Me : What the???
Kevin : Good. No scars.
Me : -_-"
Kelvin dear, i WONT attempt suicide because of a guy. Really. I treasure my life too much. I am narcissistic remember. Haha. No guys in my life? Then be it. It's not the end of the world. =)
I don't expect anyone to wait for me cause ultimately, i aint ready. And most importanly, it is an
inconsiderate act. No one should deprive anyone the freedom to move on and to love.
As for sis, she has been receiving tons of messages from friendster. Frankly speaking, some guys @friendster are, well, yyyuuuuucks. I mean, someone of a high calibre like sis surely deserve better. =)
Psst peepz, any handsome, educated and nice personality bros to intro? Tag me ya. =)p
|5:17 PM|
I am a nagger....=)
Been doing some IQ tests lately. Pretty interesting. Some peepz out there may just *yawn*. But seriously, aren't you curious about your own intelligence? But i have to agree that IQ tests aint the only way to measure intelligence. And certainly, academic performance don't count too. You may be the top scorer in your class but if you aint street-smart, you are well, nothing.
Someone asked me"Why the sudden urge of blogging bout' issues regarding intelligence"
My answer is simple. I hate the word, "Bimbo".
No one calls me that of course. I vivdly remembered my aunty telling me this years back.
"Never mind if you can't study well. Go and become a model. It's an easier path for you."
It had somehow triggered off something in me. I vowed to study hard. Real hard. And reading up on books. Currently, i am into "Grinding it out. The making of MacDonalds" by Ray Kroc. =) Cant comment tho. Still waiting for Wen's book on "toxic people" too.
Well, been quite busy recently. Busy falling sick too. Lost my voice but fortunately, it has recovered now. The feeling of being voiceless felt sooo damm terrible. I just need to yak, yak yak and yak.
Okay, I am gonna reveal this and embarrassed myself.
Someone
called
me
"Tang-shan-zhan".
For the benefit of clueless peepz, "Tang-shan-zhan" was the master of Sun-Wu-Kong / Monkey God. And if you still don't know who it is, well, do me this favour.
For the benefit of clueless peepz, "Tang-shan-zhan" was the master of Sun-Wu-Kong / Monkey God. And if you still don't know who it is, well, do me this favour.
Run towards any wall or lamp-post ya? If you survive, this collision would be a 'wake-up knock' for you for being so ignorant bout' our chinese history. If you don't survive this, i can guarantee that you WILL meet Monkey God in heaven! Haha.
Why "Tang-shan-zhan"? Cause he was a nagger. Get it. We are similar. WE ARE NAGGERS. This greatly amused me. Does the song "Only youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" ring a bell? I remembered that Stephen Chow movie in which that dude was bloody-hell damm irritating. I hope i aint like that!! Let me know if i am k? =p
No offence taken. So to that person who called me that, no worries. I just felt that it's very funny. Peace.
Note: Gfs, you know who you are, kindly remember to read the private entry titled J-day written exclusively for you all. =) And keep the password to yourself ya? Thanks.
|3:12 PM|
My apologies for the incomplete bloggy. And my taggy aint user-friendly at the moment. Sorry for that. But do leave comments for my new blogskin. I would greatly appreciate it. Changes have NOT been made yet. So feel free to add on ya? Many thanks.
|8:56 AM|
I am turning 20 this year.
Well, 20 aint a scary thing but i don't deny that it hasn't affected me. I remembered sis celebrating her 21st birthday at Carlton. It seemed like yesterday man! Fraid' my mind and mentality haven't left that era. Haha. Well, 21 next year. Intend to have a chalet. Dearest good friends, no telling me that you can't make it ya. One year notice should be sufficient. =))
Yesh, 20 is still a young age BUT i feel quite old tho. (no offence to the people who are older than me. =p)
Hitting a big 20 =
No chance of being kiddish.
No chance to escape when mistakes are made.
Gotta think of where my future is heading.
Career.
Uni studies.
Family.
Kids.
Death.
Nah. It's all future planning. Not that i don't plan. It's just that we should always remember that we are ONLY 20. Continue to enjoy your young-adulthood while we still can. =p
Anyway, 21 years old has its perks too!
1) Can watch RA movies.
2) Can go condomium shop without being chased out of the 'vibrators' section. I remembered the condom shop @far east sealing up that section when i entered their shop. Peepz, don't think dirrty. I DID NOT buy anything.
3) Can do some travelling with friends. Sounds cool.
Hah. I am procrastinating again. It's the norm. My bosses aint around. Haha. Even if they are around, I just don't have the motivation man. Coding and more coding. It has been 1-2 months and i am STILL coding. This is the ultimate. It feels like FYP.
Deja vu.
One consolation. It is a lil' tiny-winy bit more relax than FYP. Amen to that. =))
Well, 20 aint a scary thing but i don't deny that it hasn't affected me. I remembered sis celebrating her 21st birthday at Carlton. It seemed like yesterday man! Fraid' my mind and mentality haven't left that era. Haha. Well, 21 next year. Intend to have a chalet. Dearest good friends, no telling me that you can't make it ya. One year notice should be sufficient. =))
Yesh, 20 is still a young age BUT i feel quite old tho. (no offence to the people who are older than me. =p)
Hitting a big 20 =
No chance of being kiddish.
No chance to escape when mistakes are made.
Gotta think of where my future is heading.
Career.
Uni studies.
Family.
Kids.
Death.
Nah. It's all future planning. Not that i don't plan. It's just that we should always remember that we are ONLY 20. Continue to enjoy your young-adulthood while we still can. =p
Anyway, 21 years old has its perks too!
1) Can watch RA movies.
2) Can go condomium shop without being chased out of the 'vibrators' section. I remembered the condom shop @far east sealing up that section when i entered their shop. Peepz, don't think dirrty. I DID NOT buy anything.
3) Can do some travelling with friends. Sounds cool.
Hah. I am procrastinating again. It's the norm. My bosses aint around. Haha. Even if they are around, I just don't have the motivation man. Coding and more coding. It has been 1-2 months and i am STILL coding. This is the ultimate. It feels like FYP.
Deja vu.
One consolation. It is a lil' tiny-winy bit more relax than FYP. Amen to that. =))
|12:49 AM|
New bloggy
Aloha. Peepz, I am back. A new blogskin. A new pic with some basic adobe effects. And most importantly, a whole new me. A few days of self-reflection had certainly did some wonders to my behaviour. Hope it last tho.
Love was in the air. It was Valentine's on Monday. Yesh, everywhere would be littered with couples. And erm, flowers too. o'_'o Just this morning, i saw an elderly couple strolling along the walkway at my block. They were holding hands. =)) It was sweet. Really sweet. I smiled at them, silently wishing them well and congratulating them for being able to walk the journey of life together.
For couples out there, hope you had a good valentine ya? For singles, good for ya if you have a bacholarettes / bacholar nite' out. Lonely peepz do need company. And lastly, for those who are single and alone, chill out ya. It's not the end of the world. =)
Nuff of Valentine. A brief summary of my activities last week. CNY was rather 'quiet'. The usual ang paos, NY goodies and some cousins-bonding sessions. Pretty routine tho. One consolation. I managed to spend some quality time with my paternal and maternal cousins. =)
And of course, nothing would be complete without spending some quality time with my family.
Move on. That was mum's exact words. I am trying real hard. But i can't bear to move on without an answer. To take a reactive approach or clarify? Clarification would be ideal cause the opposite gender is generally, erm, *clueless* when it comes to matters of the heart. Notice that i wrote *clueless. That was an alternative for the word "d**b" and "d*pe". =x Sorry guys. I seriously didn't describe you guys as dumb or dope. My cousin did and nope, he aint female. Hah. =p
Was listening to Power98. I think Daniel Ong was on-air. He was commenting on how guys behave like girls when they are drunk. Some 'facts' to prove his stand.
1) Guys talk non-stop.
2) Guys cant drive properly.
3) Guys complained a lot.
4) Guys talk rubbish.
Evil right? Haha. But i found it hilarious anyway. =)
|12:38 AM|
Hi peeps, this is my new blogskin. Gotten some complaints from others, forcing me to launch the blogskin immmm-perfectly. Peeps, i've update it. Happy happy?? ^^
DON'T link to this URL. My original URL shall remain. I just don't have the time to transfer the new codes. The new blogskin is kinda empty tho. Haha. Comments are welcome. Enjoy!
http://www.misscynical1985.blogspot.com/
Just for Eileen:
Gal, i am NOT touchy with Cindy's pooch kayz! It is just so, er, fluffy. I cant resist it. And it's sooo tamed!! Unlike my dino. But i agree with ya, Fluffy is kinda afraid of me. Hah. Am i scary?? I remembered Fluffy running away FROM me when i approached it. -_-" So unfair.
And what happened to Mel? Did Joey proposed?? =))
DON'T link to this URL. My original URL shall remain. I just don't have the time to transfer the new codes. The new blogskin is kinda empty tho. Haha. Comments are welcome. Enjoy!
http://www.misscynical1985.blogspot.com/
Just for Eileen:
Gal, i am NOT touchy with Cindy's pooch kayz! It is just so, er, fluffy. I cant resist it. And it's sooo tamed!! Unlike my dino. But i agree with ya, Fluffy is kinda afraid of me. Hah. Am i scary?? I remembered Fluffy running away FROM me when i approached it. -_-" So unfair.
And what happened to Mel? Did Joey proposed?? =))
|9:44 AM|
My last entry.
One last entry before i *poof*
Just had to blog this cause Wen is really my life saviour. Was over at John's house with Wen, baking pineapple tarts. =) Had a really long chat with her. Seriously, i don't know what have been going on in my life since Alvin left. Wen mentioned that my temper has worsen since that happened. And i am really sorry for all the things that i have done. It was really negative.
Spilt personality. Wen felt this way. I had to, cause i feel that my friends don't deserve any scoldings or venting of frustrations from me. I love them too much. Thus, an outlet would be much needed for me to express myself. But somehow, it aint working too. Maybe i should have a private blog, solely for my pals. Yeapo, worth considering. =)
And yes, i feel the need to reflect on myself. My attitude. I read my previous entries. Haven't realise that i was such a melancholy person. Nope. I don't intend to behave as that cause that is ultimately NOT ME. I am not like that. Many people were astounded with my entries. Entries that were penned by yours truely.
Well Serene, i think i really understood what you had went through few months back. Guess changing a new blog design and maybe a blog name would give me a chance to start afresh. =)
Shall be back soon. Hugz to all my dearest friends.
Just had to blog this cause Wen is really my life saviour. Was over at John's house with Wen, baking pineapple tarts. =) Had a really long chat with her. Seriously, i don't know what have been going on in my life since Alvin left. Wen mentioned that my temper has worsen since that happened. And i am really sorry for all the things that i have done. It was really negative.
Spilt personality. Wen felt this way. I had to, cause i feel that my friends don't deserve any scoldings or venting of frustrations from me. I love them too much. Thus, an outlet would be much needed for me to express myself. But somehow, it aint working too. Maybe i should have a private blog, solely for my pals. Yeapo, worth considering. =)
And yes, i feel the need to reflect on myself. My attitude. I read my previous entries. Haven't realise that i was such a melancholy person. Nope. I don't intend to behave as that cause that is ultimately NOT ME. I am not like that. Many people were astounded with my entries. Entries that were penned by yours truely.
Well Serene, i think i really understood what you had went through few months back. Guess changing a new blog design and maybe a blog name would give me a chance to start afresh. =)
Shall be back soon. Hugz to all my dearest friends.
|1:36 AM|
Peeps, i wont be blogging for a while. Need some time to cool down. Think i ought to reflect on myself. And to Wen, i am really sorry baby. I really am.
As for the archives, i have removed it.
Till then, take care peeps. Peace out.
Love ya all.
As for the archives, i have removed it.
Till then, take care peeps. Peace out.
Love ya all.
|2:54 PM|
I had enough of V-day
I had enough of V-day
Ok, i consider myself as being bad-attitude now. As always, i'ii blame it on my pms. And i guess i am incurring the wrath of some peeps here. Sorry if i sounded harsh Mr Lucas. No hard feelings ya. And yes, I don't wish to talk about Valentine's day anymore. It just felt so sickening helping a pal and gotten 'blasted at' in the end. It's just so so so sickening.
Every single girl (including me) hopes to get asked out and other stuff stuff. But i am realistic. I don't expect, i just wish. That's why i said that it'ii be a BONUS if that happens. And nope, Mr Lucas, i won't get fed up over nil dates. I am cool about it. Independency is what i have already achieve.
You think hate-tags/mails are immature? Believe me. Peeps still does it and Wen has gotten it in the past. So well. Good luck to me now.
Miss Pms, come quickly. I don't wanna offend more peeps. =(
Ok, i consider myself as being bad-attitude now. As always, i'ii blame it on my pms. And i guess i am incurring the wrath of some peeps here. Sorry if i sounded harsh Mr Lucas. No hard feelings ya. And yes, I don't wish to talk about Valentine's day anymore. It just felt so sickening helping a pal and gotten 'blasted at' in the end. It's just so so so sickening.
Every single girl (including me) hopes to get asked out and other stuff stuff. But i am realistic. I don't expect, i just wish. That's why i said that it'ii be a BONUS if that happens. And nope, Mr Lucas, i won't get fed up over nil dates. I am cool about it. Independency is what i have already achieve.
You think hate-tags/mails are immature? Believe me. Peeps still does it and Wen has gotten it in the past. So well. Good luck to me now.
Miss Pms, come quickly. I don't wanna offend more peeps. =(
|2:21 PM|