Domestic issues in the family drives me nuts. I know i have been rather short tempered recently. Part of those small outbursts were caused by studies. It was tough trying to catch up on my work. Missing three weeks of class aint joking matter. But i should survive. I ought to actually. Gave him my promise of balancing studies and IMF. Anyway, the other part comes from family. As mentioned, its domestic, so issues like these should be kept within the walls of my humble home.
I leave home every morning feeling disturbed. Everyone seemed to steer clear of my path. Now, that was amazing. Do i look monstrous? Well, i have been faced with situations like these. And it annoys me to no end.
1) If you wanna survive uni, be street smart. Trust people at your own risks. But i suggest otherwise.
2) Pls dont brag to people about your grades. Its an awful experience listening to them whining. Kindly practice some humility.
3) I know some can solve work problems quickly. Can you stop cheering to yourself about your own success and help me with mine?
4) Stop acting clever to make us feel stupid. You're smart but you aint using it to your benefit.
5) Quit whining. Have the guts to speak up cos talk is cheap.
6) Finally, dont feedback when you think the other party cant take it. Once bitten twice shy, i will be more careful and selective in future.
I always live with this philosophy in life - "The higher your education level, the humbler you should be. A degree is just a paper. What matters to me is how am i gonna differentiate myself from other undergrads. Anyway, this semester seemed better than the last two semesters. Its contradicting to the fact that he aint around. Yknow, bfs are suppose to make you happier and such. Probably, i was spared from thinking too much in his absence. Yes, i think too much. But really, everything in life has this cause and effect issue. If there is no cause, there wont be an effect. There wont be a fire if there is no flammable objects that started it.
So in conclusion, i wont react in a certain manner if he hadnt done anything wrong.
Tolerance may be my strength. But it soon became a weakness when i turned into a time bomb. Slowly tickling away, awaiting for the slightest trigger. Iam actually afraid. Afraid of collapsing one day due to anger. Afraid that i may get Thyroid, a genetic sickness in which, grandma, aunt and my dad suffered from. I dont wish to go on medication for life.
Well, i realise that in life, we focus too much on what we DONT have. And that makes us melancholic. Few weeks back, i have started to focus on the little things in life that we often took it for granted.
1) Everyday, i leave home, praying that it doesnt rain as it was a terrible experience trying to lug my laptop, books and an umbrella to school.
2) I also pray that before i reach the bus stop, 189 stil waits for me as i know, waiting for the next bus takes 15 mins. And time is kinda crucial to me now. I cant afford to be late.
3) Lastly, as i walked to the mrt train, i prayed that iam able to catch my train on time.
All these mentioned above are things that gets me happy. Imagine facing a situation whereby, you're almost drenched going to school, you miss the bus and train. You're late and in a soaking mess upon stepping into the class. How awful life can be right? That's why iam always thankful for the little things in my life.
And just to set the record straight, iam a free-thinker. I have no religion. I believe in myself and my capabilities. I pray to no God in particular. Every God to me is great. Its the people who abuse the religion. Iam getting more optimistic towards life and that is good. Suddenly, i felt as though, the old madeline is back.
|11:32 PM|
iam going on a very very long hiatus.
IMF is draining me out but seriously,
iam having the best time of my school life over at suntec.
having the opportunity to meet new friends excites me,
and this is something which i looked forward to every day.
i never realised that people can be so so different.
Not forgetting to mention those very cute gukhas,
only that they dont seem to talk to us.
Anyway, it's already Day 3 of IMF.
Time passed way too fast.
But at least, i am treasuring what iam having now.
Serene babe: guess what, mz's friend, Belinda was just standing beside me outside Suntec Ballroom. The world is soooooo small :)
IMF is draining me out but seriously,
iam having the best time of my school life over at suntec.
having the opportunity to meet new friends excites me,
and this is something which i looked forward to every day.
i never realised that people can be so so different.
Not forgetting to mention those very cute gukhas,
only that they dont seem to talk to us.
Anyway, it's already Day 3 of IMF.
Time passed way too fast.
But at least, i am treasuring what iam having now.
Serene babe: guess what, mz's friend, Belinda was just standing beside me outside Suntec Ballroom. The world is soooooo small :)
|10:35 PM|