"When I saw how impatient she was in teaching me, I vowed NEVER to do the same to other people."
Be it friends, colleagues, bosses, family etc. I don't deny that, sometimes, i can get pretty impatient about things and people. But after every incident of showing my impatient streak, I seemed to be plagued by a sense of guilt towards that unfortunate victim. Afterwhich, its a usual instinct of mine to neutralise the situation by either pacifying or apologising to them.
I certainly have nil respect for friends who don't even practise the basic way of reciprocity. I know intelligence plays a part to survive at anywhere, but somehow, emotional intelligence takes the cake to prevent potential daggers flying into your back. I was marked down by abit for my participation in a group project. To be honest, i was bitter. Yes, marks are important for every undergrad at SMU. But i think, integrity and moral values matter more than anything. I ponder and question my own contributions for all projects that iam currently doing. My bottom line is clear. "I don't contribute just 100% but 200% in all my work." I always believe in creating a win-win situation between myself and my friends.
I have done that since poly days. Cause i know, everyone wants good grades. But iam selective. I only create the win-win situation with the people who deserves my effort. For others, i just feel, they are better off failing. I used to share notes and help friends out in poly, even to the extend of friends coming to my home in the middle of the night. Yes, it might have been tiring or a lil inconvenient. But those nights of trying to solve issues together improves our education level, as well as strengtening friendships. And iam proud to say, I have made many friends in poly, out of which, around eight of them remain on close terms with me till now.
Sorry, iam just pissed. I guess that is life. I faced the first subtle stab into my back in university. But its alright though. No use crying over spilled milk. The only thing i can do is accept the situation and find any remedies to save myself, as well as a fellow smu gf of mine.
I realise that, i have always been playing the devil's advocate around. Everyone is too afraid to speak up to the person. Contradicting right? We all speak so much Shit during interview just to be granted a space at SMU but when you wanna confront someone, all of us just play mouse. Timid and cowardly. Yes, that statement might be tactless but i think, patience has its limits. But Sis told me to tolerate. Thus, blog should be the only outlet i am going to rant my issues.
Well, i have been rather frustrated lately. I contribute it to school work. Have been at smu for 7 days a row, I now declare this school as my second home. I was just telling the boyfriend yesterday that, his absence/our temporary separation is good for us. I think i need to break away from this relationship for a moment and seek new friends. I thought i sounded harsh to him though :(
Anyway, the Prof is talking about personality right now. I wondered if what i feel about myself differs from what others perceive me to be. What do you all think? :)
|12:46 PM|
1) My ass slipped off the bed. Ended up on the floor. Sigh, yes, again.
2) Mistook the shower gel and used it to shampoo my hair!
3) Was bidding goodbye to a friend and i rammed into the pillar.
Bad day. PMS is finally here.
2) Mistook the shower gel and used it to shampoo my hair!
3) Was bidding goodbye to a friend and i rammed into the pillar.
Bad day. PMS is finally here.
|11:21 PM|