Devastated. Truly devastated.
"Be strong", he says.
Iam trying.
Iam really trying.
"Be strong", he says.
Iam trying.
Iam really trying.
|4:06 AM|
i had my relapse again last night. Really hate it and i drowned myself with sleeping pills. Couldnt wake up until 11 this morning. For those who know me, iam usually up by 9am. Can imagine how strong those pills were. I was really upset. And fortunately babe called me. Time flew so fast that i didnt realised we spoke for 3 hours. I guess when we're down in the dump, some angels do miraculously appear. We comforted
each other and i was glad both of us felt better after the conversation.
Babe, you know why i didnt scold you? Firstly, no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistake. What matters most is NOT the mistake you make, but the process of learning from it. I may not understand your situation fully, so the least i can do is not to judge. You did not do wrong and neither you're right. Everything is subjective. Its a matter of different perspective of individuals. I guess to me, we are already 22 and its critical for us to handle issues like an adult. As what i told you, both of us learnt things the hard way. It'ii prolly make us be stronger individuals next time. Additionally, those things that impact me alot will prolly be deeply embedded in my mind for a long long time. So take things in your stride ya. =)
Moving on, things have been pretty rough on my side. I have been handling so many things concurrently that friends are worried of me getting a burnout from everything! i seriously don't know. Iam just taking things as it comes. I really need my encouragement. I need appreciation for the things i have done. Just yesterday, i ruined 2 weeks of my hard work. You know how heartbroken i was? I blamed it on my own stupidity until sis asked me:"do you regret what you have said?"
strangely, my answer was a "No". I don't regret and never did. I guess through so much happenings in my life, i have emerged to be someone who knows what i want. Usually i dont take back my words. Hence, this makes me to be extremely careful with what i say or do, for i dont want to regret something for the rest of my life. In short, i meant what i said.
Well, the commencing of my first paper is just 3 days away. And i still have tons to mug. Iam so freakin' dead. Prolly study too much. Cos the tiniest things at home interest me greatly. Just a moment ago, i was analysing this lonely ant on my floor. Donno why but it really amuses me. Alright, time to hit the sack!
each other and i was glad both of us felt better after the conversation.
Babe, you know why i didnt scold you? Firstly, no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistake. What matters most is NOT the mistake you make, but the process of learning from it. I may not understand your situation fully, so the least i can do is not to judge. You did not do wrong and neither you're right. Everything is subjective. Its a matter of different perspective of individuals. I guess to me, we are already 22 and its critical for us to handle issues like an adult. As what i told you, both of us learnt things the hard way. It'ii prolly make us be stronger individuals next time. Additionally, those things that impact me alot will prolly be deeply embedded in my mind for a long long time. So take things in your stride ya. =)
Moving on, things have been pretty rough on my side. I have been handling so many things concurrently that friends are worried of me getting a burnout from everything! i seriously don't know. Iam just taking things as it comes. I really need my encouragement. I need appreciation for the things i have done. Just yesterday, i ruined 2 weeks of my hard work. You know how heartbroken i was? I blamed it on my own stupidity until sis asked me:"do you regret what you have said?"
strangely, my answer was a "No". I don't regret and never did. I guess through so much happenings in my life, i have emerged to be someone who knows what i want. Usually i dont take back my words. Hence, this makes me to be extremely careful with what i say or do, for i dont want to regret something for the rest of my life. In short, i meant what i said.
Well, the commencing of my first paper is just 3 days away. And i still have tons to mug. Iam so freakin' dead. Prolly study too much. Cos the tiniest things at home interest me greatly. Just a moment ago, i was analysing this lonely ant on my floor. Donno why but it really amuses me. Alright, time to hit the sack!
|12:55 PM|