Before someone slammed me for copyrighting, i wanna clarify that,
i found these philosophies at some guy's profile. Reason of copying?
This freakin' dude shares the same philosophies as me, in terms of how we view life, that is.
(1) Someone who strongly believes that everyone should keep changing for the better. The fact that no one is perfect is a perfect excuse for people to give up on themselves and sit their fat ass on their comfort zone.
i found these philosophies at some guy's profile. Reason of copying?
This freakin' dude shares the same philosophies as me, in terms of how we view life, that is.
(1) Someone who strongly believes that everyone should keep changing for the better. The fact that no one is perfect is a perfect excuse for people to give up on themselves and sit their fat ass on their comfort zone.
my comments: (i welcome open confrontations on my character. I do agree that, no one is perfect. But if no one is gonna step up to confront me, i can never change. And to me, this is plainly biased-ness)
(2) Someone who feels that people who live for themselves should find a cave in the most desertated island this earth can offer, and isolate themselves for the rest of their lives, eating sashimi and sucking coconuts. If u dun feel sorry for being selfish, rest assured u will end up deeper than 6 feet under.
my comments: (yes, i guess sometimes, we dont always live for ourselves. We live for others too.)
(3) Someone who believes that Smart means high EQ and not IQ. The true definition of a Smart Ass is someone who has such a high EQ that he can manipulate brain juice of someone with very high IQ to do his crap.
(4) And Finally, I am really someone who is really straight forward and can be full of shit at times. And I have been a very often misunderstood person, so take a step back and think hard before judging anyone, anyhow.
(2) Someone who feels that people who live for themselves should find a cave in the most desertated island this earth can offer, and isolate themselves for the rest of their lives, eating sashimi and sucking coconuts. If u dun feel sorry for being selfish, rest assured u will end up deeper than 6 feet under.
my comments: (yes, i guess sometimes, we dont always live for ourselves. We live for others too.)
(3) Someone who believes that Smart means high EQ and not IQ. The true definition of a Smart Ass is someone who has such a high EQ that he can manipulate brain juice of someone with very high IQ to do his crap.
(4) And Finally, I am really someone who is really straight forward and can be full of shit at times. And I have been a very often misunderstood person, so take a step back and think hard before judging anyone, anyhow.
my comments: (YES, iam always misunderstood. Be it my actions, my words, my behaviour. Always always misunderstood.)
|2:06 AM|
Sometimes, i think,
i failed as a good friend.
Its just not in me to take initiative.
That's the real madeline.
But i know friendships will get stagnant if,
i continue this behavior.
Thus, i tried to change.
But i guess,
Its never enough.
Actually, when i start to pick up my life,
studies begin to take up most of my time.
Everyone knows that when school term starts,
iii mostly disappear.
I have to. Mom paid so much for my fees.
I cant let her down.
I have a committment.
Fraid somethings may need to be sacrifice.
I just dont have a choice.
If i could, i wish to have two sides of me.
One to study. The other to spend time with friends.
i failed as a good friend.
Its just not in me to take initiative.
That's the real madeline.
But i know friendships will get stagnant if,
i continue this behavior.
Thus, i tried to change.
But i guess,
Its never enough.
Actually, when i start to pick up my life,
studies begin to take up most of my time.
Everyone knows that when school term starts,
iii mostly disappear.
I have to. Mom paid so much for my fees.
I cant let her down.
I have a committment.
Fraid somethings may need to be sacrifice.
I just dont have a choice.
If i could, i wish to have two sides of me.
One to study. The other to spend time with friends.
|3:19 AM|
Life to me, is like a threater. It just dawned on me that i have always been the leading actress of my own stage. Like a prima donna, i call the shots on what scenes to be act daily. And it seems like, mind has been skewed towards being melancholic again. Since school started, i have been out of sorts every single day.
The more optimistic i stay, the more challenges i faced. How contradicting life can be. To be frank, iam in no mood to hang out at the moment. Even if i need to sort out my thoughts, iii prolly be alone at somewhere quiet. Girlfriend suddenly came up to me and asked if i was alright. And really, that took me by surprise. She related that, i seemed moody these few days at school. I wish to say more but i knew i couldnt. To me, relating my stories again brings much pain and misery.
I have been through that. And i dont want to go through em' again.
I think, the only issue that i can control is my health. Been trying to nurse myself back to health so that, i can fully focus on my studies. Dont wish for late nights and all those stress to take a further toil in my already weak constitution.
Coming next month, iam gonna make one major decision and this prolly gonna get many to chide at me for being unfilial. But i know, i have to make the right decision. This whole affair has been going ridiculously wrong. And someone just have to stop it. Why has this many years of rivalry between you guys affecting us? Yes i know, we are not financially rich. Yes i know, my dad ain't working due to his disability. Yes i know, we have been through poly. And yes i also know, i manage to get to the local uni. I proved your prediction of 'poly students cant make it to uni' wrong. To be honest, up till today, iii never forget the look on mom's face when i told her that i qualified for local uni. She was so close to tearing.
Seriously, do we have anything for you guys to be jealous about? We are happy and i am also happy in love. And really, what's the problem of being in love? You have always emphasized "studies come first." But you cant control feelings. Why the issue of barring him? It makes no sense to me. Or plainly, its bullshit. Yes, iam enraged. And if this problem cant be settled, you wont be seeing me until late feb. I may seem unfilial but iam still sane. Dont expect me to do all of your bidding. Go find yourselves a new puppet.
The rest of the issues in my life, i shallnt elaborate. Lately, i have been isolating myself from the crowd. Other than heading to school, i have always been home. Wanted to roam around but the rain prevented me. Anyway, i know some of besties are having some issues with their life. I wish to help but i know at this moment, i need to get myself back on feet before helping. To Serene babe, iam sorry that you're going through so much and iam not there physically for you. Dropping you notes is my way of telling you that i still care. Please be strong. Iam not rushing you to move on with your life. Everyone needs to grieve before moving on. But iknow, one day, just one day, you'ii be fine. Please dont do anything to let God take you away from me. I can't afford to lose a friend like you.
Fraid in my life, when problems happened, my first instinct is to run away from it. I have been trying to correct this behaviour and prolly i succeeded a little. Fear is what iam always experiencing and that of cause, make me unable to have the courage to face up to reality. I used to confide everything in sis and boyfriend. But just recently, i realised, i gotta start settling my own problems because no one knows me as much as i know myself. There are many things in life that is just beyond my control. And i know, i have to adapt and change myself for the environment. Not the reverse.
I have way too many new year resolutions and prolly, its time to start planning for applying an overseas exchange to Europe. Guess I need a new environment to start my new life.
The more optimistic i stay, the more challenges i faced. How contradicting life can be. To be frank, iam in no mood to hang out at the moment. Even if i need to sort out my thoughts, iii prolly be alone at somewhere quiet. Girlfriend suddenly came up to me and asked if i was alright. And really, that took me by surprise. She related that, i seemed moody these few days at school. I wish to say more but i knew i couldnt. To me, relating my stories again brings much pain and misery.
I have been through that. And i dont want to go through em' again.
I think, the only issue that i can control is my health. Been trying to nurse myself back to health so that, i can fully focus on my studies. Dont wish for late nights and all those stress to take a further toil in my already weak constitution.
Coming next month, iam gonna make one major decision and this prolly gonna get many to chide at me for being unfilial. But i know, i have to make the right decision. This whole affair has been going ridiculously wrong. And someone just have to stop it. Why has this many years of rivalry between you guys affecting us? Yes i know, we are not financially rich. Yes i know, my dad ain't working due to his disability. Yes i know, we have been through poly. And yes i also know, i manage to get to the local uni. I proved your prediction of 'poly students cant make it to uni' wrong. To be honest, up till today, iii never forget the look on mom's face when i told her that i qualified for local uni. She was so close to tearing.
Seriously, do we have anything for you guys to be jealous about? We are happy and i am also happy in love. And really, what's the problem of being in love? You have always emphasized "studies come first." But you cant control feelings. Why the issue of barring him? It makes no sense to me. Or plainly, its bullshit. Yes, iam enraged. And if this problem cant be settled, you wont be seeing me until late feb. I may seem unfilial but iam still sane. Dont expect me to do all of your bidding. Go find yourselves a new puppet.
The rest of the issues in my life, i shallnt elaborate. Lately, i have been isolating myself from the crowd. Other than heading to school, i have always been home. Wanted to roam around but the rain prevented me. Anyway, i know some of besties are having some issues with their life. I wish to help but i know at this moment, i need to get myself back on feet before helping. To Serene babe, iam sorry that you're going through so much and iam not there physically for you. Dropping you notes is my way of telling you that i still care. Please be strong. Iam not rushing you to move on with your life. Everyone needs to grieve before moving on. But iknow, one day, just one day, you'ii be fine. Please dont do anything to let God take you away from me. I can't afford to lose a friend like you.
Fraid in my life, when problems happened, my first instinct is to run away from it. I have been trying to correct this behaviour and prolly i succeeded a little. Fear is what iam always experiencing and that of cause, make me unable to have the courage to face up to reality. I used to confide everything in sis and boyfriend. But just recently, i realised, i gotta start settling my own problems because no one knows me as much as i know myself. There are many things in life that is just beyond my control. And i know, i have to adapt and change myself for the environment. Not the reverse.
I have way too many new year resolutions and prolly, its time to start planning for applying an overseas exchange to Europe. Guess I need a new environment to start my new life.
|3:59 PM|
today, the 2nd Jan 2007,
i think the optimistic-me has died.
i think the optimistic-me has died.
cause once again,
history has repeated,
in a much severe situation now.
the tears has never stop flowing
when will you ever stop hurting me.
just when?
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|11:12 PM|
2007 entry
People were frantically anticipating 2007 to come. So did i.
Never did i realise the twist to my anticipation.
Was burning with a fever on the 30th Dec.
Naturally, fever weakens my body.
And due to that, we could only watch the beautiful fireworks on the TV.
And this morning at home, had a slight argument with my precious.
Bad way to start the beginning of 2007.
Throughout the whole day,
Nauseousness begins to kick in as i kept getting the feeling to vomit.
Then after lunch, due to too much tom yam soup (i think),
tummy was giving me the cramps.
At the same time, i was losing my voice.
After ktv, we went for dinner.
Due to differences in perference for food,
we went separate ways to have our meals which in turn,
enraged her. When she approached our table,
I was actually arguing with him over certain issues.
The two separate issues saddens me.
Once home, my tummy finally couldn't take it.
I stayed glued to the loo till legs went numb.
Frankly, i seriously think,
i could have experienced a much worse situation.
Either iam crazy or iam overly-optimistic.
Never did i realise the twist to my anticipation.
Was burning with a fever on the 30th Dec.
Naturally, fever weakens my body.
And due to that, we could only watch the beautiful fireworks on the TV.
And this morning at home, had a slight argument with my precious.
Bad way to start the beginning of 2007.
Throughout the whole day,
Nauseousness begins to kick in as i kept getting the feeling to vomit.
Then after lunch, due to too much tom yam soup (i think),
tummy was giving me the cramps.
At the same time, i was losing my voice.
After ktv, we went for dinner.
Due to differences in perference for food,
we went separate ways to have our meals which in turn,
enraged her. When she approached our table,
I was actually arguing with him over certain issues.
The two separate issues saddens me.
Once home, my tummy finally couldn't take it.
I stayed glued to the loo till legs went numb.
Frankly, i seriously think,
i could have experienced a much worse situation.
Either iam crazy or iam overly-optimistic.
|1:31 AM|