He is leaving....
As mention in the title...he is leaving...not sure if it is for good or for these few years...no matter what..i still felt sad...i cant bear to see him go but what choice do i have....i need a break...a break from relationships for a while...he respected my decision...since he chose to leave, i ought to respect his decision too...For these past few days..i've been thinking alot...thinking abt whether we shd patch back..in the end..the answer was still a 'no'...not tt bcoz i wanna have fun or what..just that i m not prepared to commit at the moment...i dun wanna hurt him again...i can anticipate that the blowwould be much greater compared to now...
I celebrated his birthday on sat, 4 Dec...to me...it was the saddest birthday that i've ever celebrated with him....Every hour, min, sec was extremely precious to us....we didn;t want the time to pass so quickly...unfortunately, time waits for no man...we took quite a number of photos at orchard...guess he posted it up to friendster...we were both controlling our emotions...on the surface, i pretended to be happy bcoz he had specifically requested to have a happy and memorable birthday...i didn't want my sad mood to spoil the entire day...i want him to leave singapore with good memories..not bad ones...
I still love him though...but knowing that leaving singapore would let him have a brighter future, i am willing to let him go...i would miss him definitely...i seriously dunno how to pass my days without him calling and sms-ing me everyday...it seems like i have to become independent suddenly...guess i relied too much on him...he kept reminding me the same things everyday...to make sure that i wont forget when he is not around...
i felt so lost suddenly...i dunno what to do...but den again...the decision has already been made..he will be leaving sometime this week or maybe next week...shall be going to China to work for 3 months...after which, he will pursue a degree somewhere else...guess i wont be seeing him for about 5years++...well...the feeling is not good...definitely not good...i dunno...i might even wait for him...maybe when he is back...i'ii have grown up and say good bye to my beloved clubbing....
I celebrated his birthday on sat, 4 Dec...to me...it was the saddest birthday that i've ever celebrated with him....Every hour, min, sec was extremely precious to us....we didn;t want the time to pass so quickly...unfortunately, time waits for no man...we took quite a number of photos at orchard...guess he posted it up to friendster...we were both controlling our emotions...on the surface, i pretended to be happy bcoz he had specifically requested to have a happy and memorable birthday...i didn't want my sad mood to spoil the entire day...i want him to leave singapore with good memories..not bad ones...
I still love him though...but knowing that leaving singapore would let him have a brighter future, i am willing to let him go...i would miss him definitely...i seriously dunno how to pass my days without him calling and sms-ing me everyday...it seems like i have to become independent suddenly...guess i relied too much on him...he kept reminding me the same things everyday...to make sure that i wont forget when he is not around...
i felt so lost suddenly...i dunno what to do...but den again...the decision has already been made..he will be leaving sometime this week or maybe next week...shall be going to China to work for 3 months...after which, he will pursue a degree somewhere else...guess i wont be seeing him for about 5years++...well...the feeling is not good...definitely not good...i dunno...i might even wait for him...maybe when he is back...i'ii have grown up and say good bye to my beloved clubbing....
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